13 Quotes Of David Sedaris

1. About sympathy

David Sedaris quote about sympathy

If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

2. About humor

David Sedaris quote about humor

Sometimes the sins you haven’t committed are all you have left to hold onto.

3. About humor

David Sedaris quote about humor

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

4. About friends

David Sedaris quote about friends

Like all of my friends, she’s a lousy judge of character.

5. About adulthood

David Sedaris quote about adulthood

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

6. About humor

David Sedaris quote about humor

If you aren’t cute, you may as well be clever.

7. About cursing

David Sedaris quote about cursing

When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it’, and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.

8. About diaries

David Sedaris quote about diaries

If you read someone else’s diary, you get what you deserve.

9. About reading

David Sedaris quote about reading

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

10. About gender-stereotypes

David Sedaris quote about gender-stereotypes

Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.

11. About oral-sex

David Sedaris quote about oral-sex

It’s just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.

12. About direct

David Sedaris quote about direct

I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn’t like it, and changed.

13. About humor

David Sedaris quote about humor

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

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